December 29, 2019

Intimidate the Space, #TBTRPG

Today’s #tbtRPG story comes from a (somewhat) Pirate-themed story. During a frantic escape from an under-siege San Juan at the height of the Golden Age of Piracy, our group came face-to-face with a legendary weaponsmith’s shop and decided that, despite the fact shells were hitting the city all around in the middle of the night, they had time to, um, loot the place.

As you might imagine, the lock on the door was pretty serious but there was one guy in the group – basically a pirate-barbarian Kratos – who was not taking “No” for an answer. The guy just absolutely obliterates the lock with his axes – the byproduct of some amazing rolling – and storms inside where it’s black as night, can’t see a foot in front of him.

The players in the room look to this character’s player all with “so now what the hell are you gonna do?” type looks and he, deadpanned, looks at everyone and says “I’m going to intimidate the space!!” He picks up his dice and rolls a 12 – the best possible roll in a 2d6 system – and stands up and shouts like he’s just beaten Godzilla in 1:1 combat.

We all just look at him and I say, “Do you mean to intimidate…the room?” to which he emphatically replies “YUP!!” One of the characters with him lights a torch illuminating the room: the weaponsmith’s pet rabbit, in its cage on the main desk, is absolutely PETRIFIED and unloads three days’ worth of droppings right then and there.

The room exploded in laughter and “intimidating the space” has become a legendary reference in our group ever since.